What Is a Submissive? Understanding Submissiveness in BDSM & Beyond

If you've ever wondered what does a submissive do or you've been curious about how to define submissiveness in a BDSM or DDLG dynamic, you're in the right place. Being submissive is more than just a role—it's a mindset, a choice, and a powerful expression of trust and connection.

Let’s break it down in a soft, safe, and understanding way. 

Define Submissiveness

At its core, submissiveness is the act of willingly yielding to another person’s guidance, control, or leadership. In the context of relationships—especially BDSM or kink dynamics—it often means giving a trusted partner authority in agreed-upon areas.

It's the choice to surrender control in a safe, consensual, and structured way that brings pleasure, closeness, and meaning.

It doesn’t mean weakness or passivity—in fact, many submissives are strong, confident people who choose to submit because it fulfills them emotionally, mentally, or sexually.

What Does a Submissive Do?

A submissive (or "sub") can take on many forms depending on the dynamic. There’s no one-size-fits-all—what a submissive does is deeply personal and negotiated with their dominant (or “Dom”).

Some common things a submissive might do include:

• Following rules or rituals set by their dominant
• Serving or pleasing their partner in specific ways
• Wearing a collar or symbol of their submission
• Engaging in acts of service, obedience, or even playful brattiness (if that’s part of the dynamic)
• Surrendering control in scenes or everyday life

It’s important to remember that consent, communication, and trust are at the center of every healthy submissive/dominant relationship.

Types of Submissiveness

Submissiveness looks different for everyone. Some types include:

• Service submissives – focused on acts of care and service
• Little submissives – often in DDLG dynamics, leaning into vulnerability and cuteness
• Brats – submissives who enjoy playful resistance and being “put in their place”
• Sexual submissives – those who submit primarily during sexual play
• 24/7 submissives – those who live in a continuous power exchange dynamic

There’s no “right” way to be submissive—only the way that’s right for you.

The Beauty of Submissiveness

Choosing to be submissive can be incredibly empowering. It’s about letting go in a safe space, embracing your desires, and trusting someone deeply. Whether it’s in the bedroom or part of your lifestyle, submissiveness is a valid, beautiful expression of love, kink, and self-awareness.

Final Thoughts

If you came here wondering “what does a submissive do?” or trying to understand how to define submissiveness, we hope this helped shed some light. Being a submissive doesn’t mean giving up who you are—it means embracing it in the most vulnerable, trusting, and fulfilling way possible.

Whether you're exploring the lifestyle or already deep in your journey, your submissiveness is yours—and that makes it powerful.

If you're ready to embrace the submissive lifestyle, take a look at our submissive jewellery for ideas!